What A Difference One Word Can Make

I was recently talking with a new client, picking his brain about the past, trying to figure out what he wanted for his future. After 30 minutes, it was obvious he was unknowingly self-sabotaging his results with what he was telling himself on a daily basis. He was sincerely passionate about creating a new path for himself, and was prepared to do the work necessary to achieve that outcome. Unfortunately, he hadn’t yet understood the negative power he was implanting in his unconscious with one simple word he continually used.

“I can’t seem to get to that next level because…”


“I can’t figure out why I’m stuck…”


“I can’t create the new habits I know I need…”

He was cemented in this negative way of thinking, directly affecting his daily actions, and not allowing him to move forward.

“I can’t…” is assuming a specific future, actually manifesting the outcome he feared the most.  Using this specific self-talk is drawing a conclusion to a result that hasn’t yet arrived… and ironically making it come true.

My goal for him was to help switch his language to “I haven’t.”

“I haven’t found that next level yet, but I definitely will.”


“I haven’t figured out why I’m still stuck, but I definitely will.”


“I haven’t implemented my new habits, but I understand how important they are, and will soon.”


With a simple shift in one word, notice how much more powerful his thoughts become. He’s now full of possibilities and confidence when he focuses on his future.


“I haven’t” is a fact, and is totally in our control. We can immediately focus on the change we want when we use this type of language. Remember, when we want to achieve anything new, we must first focus on what we say and think. Our thoughts create specific emotions, which will beget definite and precise actions. Knowing this, we should be conscious and very careful of the self-talk we choose.

Take a look at your own daily thoughts and what you’re telling yourself… any changes you can make?